“Until we have seen someone’s darkness we don’t really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is” ~ Marianne Williamson
Day 4: Given that most of the task of adulthood is in forgiving our parents and accepting our childhood, let’s spend another day on forgiving our parents. Remember as an adult, it is no longer empowering to blame our parents for our lives. At a certain point you must accept the experiences you had as a child and realize that you cannot change them. That is forgiveness. We can no longer act as children expecting our parents to fulfill the demands of our emotional needs or continue playing the victim. It’s time to put the big girl/boy panties on and take responsibility of our lives. This does not condone any pain, brutality, or selfishness parents may have inflicted, but forgiveness says let go of the past, that which you cannot change, and set yourself free.
Until we know the pain and darkness our own parents may have experienced during their own childhood, how can we really know them. But to love them is to forgive them. Each one of our parents experienced their own emotional scars in childhood. Love and compassion toward their hurts is the key to forgiving them.
Today, close your eyes and as you meditate see your mother as a child; frightened, alone, and looking for love. Think about the fears she may have experienced. Hug, comfort and embrace her and send her love and light. Now do the same for your father. Try to see them both as children and what they may have been afraid of and let them know that all is well! Affirm: “I love you mom, I love you dad and I forgive you for your pain and mistakes”. Practice this daily whether you feel anger toward your parents or not. Most of the anger is often unconscious. Practice this toward whomever raised you and whether or not your parents are still living.
Wishing you peace and forgiveness today!!