About two years ago — once the grieving process had temporarily mellowed for me — I began to really hear what it was that my Mother tried to tell me when she was alive. I was able to understand her hardships and see beyond her mistakes, not judging her but embracing her. I was on a similar path and couldn’t figure out how to get off. I finally realized that I could use her life as a guide for mine and determine where I needed to correct my own course.
When you lose your Mother — no matter how old you are — Mother’s Day becomes an altogether different experience.
How do we honor our Mothers who are no longer here with us in the physical form on Mother’s Day? We do so by honoring ourselves and becoming the best we can be. That’s the best gift you can give to those who have passed on: make good with your life and free yourself emotionally from old patterns that were inherited. Mother’s Day then becomes an opportunity to reflect upon our mothers’ lives (both good and bad) to see where we need to improve.
Through honoring yourself, you will then honor your mother — even if that means acknowledging mistakes in her life, changing traditions or merely finding different ways of doing things. It’s like altering a family recipe, passed down for generations. If you find that you can yield the same (if not better) results by omitting an ingredient to save calories, why not divert from the original recipe? Don’t feel as if you’re disrespecting your mother’s legacy by acknowledging her shortcomings and the effects they had on your life; it isn’t a bad thing. It is actually what she would want her Daughter to do. Do you think our mothers are sitting around saying:
Keep making the same mistakes I did…
Keep getting yourself into financial despair…
Oh, and that marriage that you’re in…ruin it by losing yourself and not asking for what you want. Way to go! You will end up just like I did: lost, neglected and sad…
No. They’re not. They want you to be the best version of yourself, in their honor.
It’s time for us to start anew. Let’s break new ground, stop working ourselves to a pulp, take care of our bodies and minds, and speak up for ourselves. We are a new version of them. We must determine what suited them well, what suits us well, and what to let go of.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! This year my gift to you is to continue to self-reflect and use every experience as an opportunity to become more self-aware. I will try everyday to be my best and the highest expression of myself as you would want me to be.